Can a Christian Marry a Non-Christian? There are many different ideas on this subject. Even those who say that it is not a sin do not recommend it. Allan: "I would discourage it, try to talk them out of it, do everything I could to stop it, but I could not say it is a sin if a Christian does marry a non-Chris tian". In commenting on a widow marrying "only in the Lord" Some have concluded that this means that she must marry a Christian. while such a course is to be highly recommended, it is hard to make it a requirement based on this phrase alone... The widow who is considering remarrying would do so with serious respect for God's will, not her own. This would definitely involve a sober consider ation of the type of person she would marry. It is true that a deep appreci ation of the principles in God's Word and a sense of Spiritual priorities would lead a widow to marry a Christian only. In no way would Paul, or any other inspired writer, recommend a Christian to marry an unbeliever. Such a marriage would be unwise, to say the least, and a mature Christian would not consider it. Tim Reeves, Is It Lawful, edited by Dennis Allan and Gary Fisher, pg. 105 Many passages dealing with marrying those who are not children of God are found in the Old Testament. Do they apply today? The apostles did not hesitate to apply O.T. pas sages to Christians. 1. Be ye holy for it is written. 2. Support of Elders - for it is written - don't muzzle the ox 3. This applies to you as sons - Heb. 12:5 The Old Law has been done away. Priesthood, worship, sacrifices, Temple all have changed. We now have the New Covenant in which we have true forgiveness of sins. Our approach to God is different than in the Old Covenant. Yet, there are eternal truths that do not change. 1. God is holy, His people are to be holy too. 2. It is still right to pay workers. 3. God still loves and chastens His people. Human nature has not changed. We are still influenced by those with whom we have close association. 1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals. (ASV) Warnings concerning intermarriage had to do with influence of others on God s people. Has human nature changed? If not, we should be just as confident in applying these passages as the Hebrew writer was in applying Proverbs, and Peter in applying Leviticus to Christians. God warned Israel that if they made a covenant with the Canaanites, it would lead to sin. Exodus 23:32-33 You shall make no covenant with them, nor with their gods. They shall not dwell in your land, lest they make you sin against Me. For if you serve their gods, it will surely be a snare to you." Exodus 34:12-16 Take heed to yourself, lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land where you are going, lest it be a snare in your midst. But you shall destroy their altars, break their sacred pillars, and cut down their wooden images (for you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God), lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they play the harlot with their gods... God knew what He was talking about Psalm 106:34-35 They did not destroy the peoples, Concerning whom the Lord had commanded them, but they mingled with the Gentiles and learned their works. Marriage is a Covenant Malachi 2:14 Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Israel was to destroy their enemies without compromise. Deuteronomy 7:1-4 When the Lord your God brings you into the land which you go to possess, and has cast out many nations before you, the Hittites and the Girgashites and the Amorites and the Canaanites and the Perizzites and the Hivites and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and mightier than you, and when the Lord your God delivers them over to you, you shall conquer them and utterly destroy them. You shall make no covenant with them nor show mercy to them. Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly. (12:2-3) Christians too are at war. However, our method of warfare has changed. The difference in our warfare is that we are trying to make the enemy become alive instead of trying to kill them. Still, can we marry someone we are to be at war with? 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. We are on the offensive, on the attack. To many want to sign non-aggression pacts with the enemy. Some want to call a truce when the captain of our salvation has not called for a truce. Can a faithful child of God marry one who will not bring their thoughts into obedience to their Lord? Marriage to someone not in a Covenant relationship to God was Forbidden. The reason God gave: It would cause Israel to forsake Him. Exodus 34:12-16 Take heed to yourself, lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land where you are going, lest it be a snare in your midst. 13 "But you shall destroy their altars, break their sacred pillars, and cut down their wooden images ...lest you ... take of his daughters for your sons, and his daughters play the harlot with their gods and make your sons play the harlot with their gods. Deuteronomy 7:1-6 ...Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly... For you are a holy people to the Lord your God; the Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth. vss 5-11, God wants to keep His oath with them. He has also promised redemption to us. Promised us a land of rest (Heb 4) He wants to keep these promise, but the only way He can is if we remain faithful! Joshua 23:11-13 Therefore take careful heed to yourselves, that you love the Lord your God. Or else, if indeed you do go back, and cling to the remnant of these nations -- these that remain among you -- and make marriages with them, and go in to them and they to you, know for certain that the Lord your God will no longer drive out these nations from before you. But they shall be snares and traps to you, and scourges on your sides and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from this good land which the Lord your God has given you. Some have argued that this applied to Canaanites only. They miss the point that the Canaanites were the ones who would be living close to Israel. The danger of apostasy would be just as great if they traveled north and married Babylonians or south and married Egyptians. CoC tradition: God was concerned with the blood line from Abraham. This is in direct conflict with the plain teaching of the Bible! Isaac did not marry a descendant of Abe. Jacob did not, the 12 sons of Jacob did not. Rahab and Ruth both married into Israel without rebuke. Rahab expressed such strong faith in Jehovah that she was mentioned in Hebrews 11 where God told us she was saved by faith. Ruth 1:16 But Ruth said: "Entreat me not to leave you, Or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God. God Allowed an Exception to his rule on Intermarriage: Marrying a Cleansed Captive Even God allowed the "blood line" to be corrupted! Deuteronomy 21:10-13 When you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God delivers them into your hand, and you take them captive, and you see among the captives a beautiful woman, and desire her and would take her for your wife, then you shall bring her home to your house, and she shall shave her head and trim her nails. She shall put off the clothes of her captivity, remain in your house, and mourn her father and her mother a full month; after that you may go in to her and be her husband, and she shall be your wife. Shaving was a sign for Cleansing Leviticus 14:8-9 Cleansing of the Leper Numbers 6:9-11 Cleansing of the Nazarite who touches a dead body Numbers 8:6-7 Cleansing of the Levite Christians are also allowed to take those who have been captured in war and have been cleansed! God never promised that the seed of Abraham would be a pure descendent of Abraham who could trace all of his ancestors back to Abraham. If that was the promise, God broke His promise! The promise was that the Messiah would be from the family tree of Abraham but there never was such thing as a physically pure Jew! Time after time God does tell us the reason for His rule for no marriage with other nations and the blood line had nothing to do with it! Before we teach something, lets apply the same principles to ourselves that we constantly tell the denominations to do - Back It Up With God's Word! The Priests in the Temple in Ezekiel 40-48 (The Temple was a prophesy of the church) Ezekiel 44:21-22 No priest shall drink wine when he enters the inner court. They shall not take as wife a widow or a divorced woman, but take virgins of the descendants of the house of Israel, or widows of priests. Examples of Evil Influence of Mixed Marriages Genesis 6:1-3 Now it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves of all whom they chose. And the Lord said, "My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, for he is indeed flesh; yet his days shall be one hundred and twenty years." Judges 3:5-6 Thus the children of Israel dwelt among the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites. And they took their daughters to be their wives, and gave their daughters to their sons; and they served their gods. 1 Kings 11:1-11 But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh: women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites -- from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, "You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods." Solomon clung to these in love. And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart. For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, and did not fully follow the Lord, as did his father David... 1 Kings 21:25 But there was no one like Ahab who sold himself to do wickedness in the sight of the Lord, because Jezebel his wife stirred him up. (daughter of the king of the Sidonians) 2 Chronicles 21:5-6 Jehoram was thirty-two years old when he became king, and he reigned eight years in Jerusalem. And he walked in the way of the kings of Israel, just as the house of Ahab had done, for he had the daughter of Ahab as a wife; and he did evil in the sight of the Lord. Biblical Principles That Apply to Marriage What would a dedicated child of God see in an unbeliever to begin with? 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people." Therefore "Come out from among them and be separate," says the Lord. "Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters," says the Lord Almighty. "This meant that no Christian had any business making alliances of any kind with pagans; and yes, that certainly includes marriage. Why should any Christian wife accept a pagan for a husband? This writer has known many who did it to their sorrow; but it was never anything but a sin. Paul was not here discussing the situation where one of a pagan couple had obeyed the gospel and the other had not. He had already dealt with that. Here he is laying down a rule that forbade such alliances in the first place. Furthermore, there is nothing here that limits the application to marriage. Any close alliance with a pagan partner in business, recreation, marriage or any other kind of union can mean nothing but disaster for the Christian." Burt Coffman, Commentary on 2 Corinthians, pg. 389 1. Can a Christian in the light have no communion with someone in darkness and yet marry them? 2. Can a Christian marry one with whom they are to have no agreement? 3. Can a Christian marry one of the unclean after their Lord commands him to come out from among them and be separate? 4. Can a Christian marry one whom their Lord command them to not touch? 5. Can a believer marry an unbeliever? 6. Are we sons and daughters of God if we do join ourselves in marriage with unbelievers, lawlessness, darkness, Belial, idols and the unclean? We are not be deceived in thinking that association with evil is not very dangerous. Are we free to marry someone who refuses to submit to God? 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good morals." Jehoshaphat was rebuked for compromising with those who do not follow God. Does this principle still apply at all today? 2 Chronicles 19:2 And Jehu the son of Hanani the seer went out to meet him, and said to King Jehoshaphat, "Should you help the wicked and love those who hate the Lord? Therefore the wrath of the Lord is upon you. 2 Chronicles 20:35-37 And after this Jehoshaphat king of Judah allied himself with Ahaziah king of Israel. He acted wickedly in so doing. So he allied himself with him to make ships to go to Tarshish... If allying one's self with those who do not follow God is wrong, why would marriage, the closest of all relationships, not also be wrong? (Unless we want to say these passages have no meaning for us today) Those who do not follow God are His enemies. Matthew 12:30 He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad. Problems With Marrying a Non-Christian 1. Marrying a Non-Christian is to reject the importance of teaching our Children Israel was told to diligently teach their children. Christians are to bring up their children in "the nurture and admonition of the Lord" Could a Christian woman marry a man who will not do this? Could a Christian man want a woman who will not submit to God to be the mother of his children? Deuteronomy 6:5-7 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. (11:19-21) Psalm 78:5-7 For He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children; that the generation to come might know them, The children who would be born, That they may arise and declare them to their children, That they may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments. Isaiah 38:19 The living, the living, he shall praise thee, as I do this day: the father to the children shall make known thy truth. Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. To raise "pagan children" is to deal treacherously with the Lord Hosea 5:7 They have dealt treacherously with the Lord, for they have begotten pagan children... (NKJV) Example of children of Israel raising "pagan children" after being involved in mixed marriages: Nehemiah 13:23-27 In those days I also saw Jews who had married women of Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab. And half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod, and could not speak the language of Judah, but spoke according to the language of one or the other people... 2. Could we marry someone still under the "power of darkness" (Col. 1:13) or continues to abides in darkness (John 12:46)? Ephesians 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. Can we marry someone with whom we can have no fellowship? 3. Could we marry someone that God tells us to turn away from? 2 Timothy 3:5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! 4. Could we marry someone God tells us to not receive into our house? 2 John 10-11 If anyone comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into your house nor greet him; for he who greets him shares in his evil deeds. 5. Could we marry someone so foolish that they will not obey God? Proverbs 14:7 Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge. 6. Christians were told to come out from "Babylon". Were they free to marry someone from "Babylon"? Revelation 18:4 And I heard another voice from heaven saying, "Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues. When a Christian Marries a Non-Christian One of These Two Situations Must Exist 1. The Christian chooses to unite themselves in the closest of human relationships for life with someone who has deliberately chosen to not submit to their Lord and Savior. 2. Or the Christian is so apathetic and lukewarm, they have not even bothered to teach that person. Could you perform your God-commanded duties as a Christian as you should if you marry a non-Christian? 1. Giving 2. Showing Hospitality 3. Raising children to follow God 4. Not forsaking the assembly 5. Visiting (Too many don't do this when both claim to be Christians) Questions: 1. Would you have a preacher to work here who married a non-Christian? 2. If Jesus had married, could you imagine Him marrying someone who did not follow God? (we tell our children to think of what Christ would do before they give into to sin) A Widow is Commanded to marry "only in the Lord". Are widows the only people God expects to follow this? 1 Corinthians 7:39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. The phrase "in the Lord" is used 63x in the OT and 44x in the NT. 107 total. Sometimes it describes one who is God's child, or something done by a child of God or something that is pleasing to God. Only passage I have heard used to make the claim it does not mean a Christian is Eph. 6:1 and there are 106 other verses available. Even if it simply means "in a manner pleasing to the Lord", how can a Christian marrying a non-Christian be pleasing to the Lord? Romans 16:8 Greet Amplias, my beloved in the Lord. Romans 16:11 Greet Herodion, my countryman. Greet those who are of the household of Narcissus who are in the Lord. Romans 16:13 Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine. 1 Corinthians 4:17 For this reason I have sent Timothy to you, who is my beloved and faithful son in the Lord, who will remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach everywhere in every church. Ephesians 6:21 But that you also may know my affairs and how I am doing, Tychicus, a beloved brother and faithful minister in the Lord, will make all things known to you; Philippians 1:14 and most of the brethren in the Lord, having become confident by my chains, are much more bold to speak the word without fear. Philippians 4:1 Therefore, my beloved and longed-for brethren, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, beloved. Philippians 4:2 I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. Colossians 4:7 Tychicus, a beloved brother, faithful minister, and fellow servant in the Lord, will tell you all the news about me. Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (cp. Col. 3:20) Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Neither parents nor husbands have to be Christians for these passages to be obeyed. The wife is to obey her parents in light of her relation to the Lord. The child is to obey his parents in light of his relation to the Lord. This can be either a child who has not yet reached the age of accountability (Rom. 7:9) or one who has and is now a Christian and is still living at home. Romans 7:9 I was once alive apart from the Law; but when the commandment came, sin became alive, and I died. (NASV) Paul claimed that he had a right to lead about a "believing wife" as the other Apostles. Would the Apostles be free to have any other wife besides a "believing wife"? 1 Corinthians 9:5 Do we have no right to take along a believing wife, as do also the other apostles, the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas? 1 Cor 7:39 and 9:5 are in the context of Christians being commanded to not forsake non- Christian spouses. 1 Cor was written to congregation of new converts. Some were taught while their spouses were not. When someone was married before they became a Christian, they were to remain with their spouse after their conversion. 1. When referring to existing marriages, they are to remain with their spouse. 2. When referring to potential future marriages, those who were free to remarry were reminded they must marry "only in the Lord" and Paul, as an Apostle, was free to take a believing wife. O.T. Scriptures written to make us wise to salvation, doctrine, reproof, correction and instruction (2 Tim 3:15-17), for our learning, (Rom 15:4). Teaching should be so obvious, he would not have to spend more time than this on the subject of who we can marry. One reason we have this problem is a misunderstanding of the value of the Law for children of God today. A better argument can be made for instrumental music than for a Christian to marry a non-Christian. We argue silence of the Scriptures concerning music. God has commanded a certain kind of music but He did not say "Thou shalt not use instruments". He just told us to sing and make melody in our hearts. Those who use instrumental music argue God commanded it in the OT! And they are right. He did. Yet, that is not the system we are under today to approach God. Although instrumental music was authorized at one time, the marriage of God s children to children of the devil has never been authorized in any time period. 1. Sons of God marrying daughters of men in Gen. 6 was not pleasing to God. 2. Abraham understood the need of sending his servant on afar journey to find a suitable wife for his son. 3. Esau's marriage to Hittites brought grief to Isaac and Rebekah. Gen. 26:34-35. 4. God plainly commanded Israel to not marry outside the faith. 5. When specifying who can be married in the NT, Christians are authorized to marry only in the Lord or to take a believing wife. There is no authority anywhere in the Bible for His people who know the truth to enter into a marriage covenant with a non-believer. Malachi 2:11-12 Judah has dealt treacherously, And an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem, For Judah has profaned The Lord's holy institution which He loves: He has married the daughter of a foreign god. May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob The man who does this, being awake and aware, Yet who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts! Marriage in and of itself is not the sin, the sin in putting the person above God. Marriage is for all. 1. Two non-Christians can get married without sin. They have other problems, but they do not add to their guilt by marrying. 2. Two Christians can get married without sin. 3. When a Christian and non-Christian get married the Christian deliberately rejects all that their Lord has warned them of, rejected the standards of discipleship in order to have human companionship and have not put God first in their lives. This attitude is what needs to be repented of, not the physical act of marriage itself. Marriage was given to all of mankind. by God before sin. Quoting the Greek, Plutarch (Greek writer 50-120 AD): Marriage cannot be happy unless husband and wife are of the same religion. William Barclay, The Letters to the Corinthians, pg. 79 Catholics understand this, Jews understand this, Moslems understand this, pagans understood this, It is amazing when Christians do not. Matthew 10:37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. Luke 14:26 If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. God's People can be forgiven, even when they violate His rules for marriage. Ezra 10:2 And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, spoke up and said to Ezra, "We have trespassed against our God, and have taken pagan wives from the peoples of the land; yet now there is hope in Israel in spite of this. In Ezra, 112 men out of 43,000 had married foreign women. What would Ezra's reaction be today? Ezra 9:1-6 When these things were done, the leaders came to me, saying, "The people of Israel and the priests and the Levites have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands, with respect to the abominations of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites. For they have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and their sons, so that the holy seed is mixed with the peoples of those lands. Indeed, the hand of the leaders and rulers has been foremost in this trespass. So when I heard this thing, I tore my garment and my robe, and plucked out some of the hair of my head and beard, and sat down astonished. Then everyone who trembled at the words of the God of Israel assembled to me, because of the transgression of those who had been carried away captive, and I sat astonished until the evening sacrifice. At the evening sacrifice I arose from my fasting; and having torn my garment and my robe, I fell o n my knees and spread out my hands to the Lord my God. And I said: "O my God, I am too ashamed and humiliated to lift up my face to You, my God; for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has grown up to the heavens. Ezra 9:13-14 And after all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and for our great guilt, since You our God have punished us less than our iniquities deserve, and have given us such deliverance as this, should we again break Your commandments, and join in marriage with the people committing these abominations? Would You not be angry with us until You had consumed us, so that there would be no remnant or survivor? In commenting on a widow marrying "only in the Lord" Some have concluded that this means that she must marry a Christian. while such a course is to be highly recommended, it is hard to make it a requirement based on this phrase alone... The widow who is considering remarrying would do so with serious respect for God's will, not her own. This would definitely involve a sober consideration of the type of person she would marry. It is true that a deep appreciation of the principles in God's Word and a sense of Spiritual priorities would lead a widow to marry a Christian only. In no way would Paul, or any other inspired writer, recommend a Christian to marry an unbeliever. Such a marriage would be unwise, to say the least, and a mature Christian would not consider it. Tim Reeves, Is It Lawful, edited by Dennis Allan and Gary Fisher, pg. 105 This is beating around the bush . Romans 1:29-32 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. Ephesians 5:15-17 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. Wayne Wells wayneliz@twave.net http://users.twave.net/ncc